Telling your partner (or future partner) about your porn habits is not an easy thing to do. In fact, most men don’t even tell their mates. It’s important that every man learn about porn addiction first, and how it affects the body and brain. They must be aware of the impacts on their relationship, and to own all of it.
You can get a free copy of my eBook here.
Secrecy is all part of the addiction, therefore a vital part in healing this issue in a relationship is communication. Take into consideration her values eg. trust, loyalty, honesty and talk to those values when you open this discussion. It’s important that you hold space for each other.
Here’s a guide on how to start the conversation with your partner:
“I want to honour your loyalty and trust and want to be responsible for my actions moving forward.”
“I want us to have a conversation which is pretty difficult and sensitive for me, and I’m being courageous and vulnerable, so I’d love to feel safe in this. I’m ready to take responsibility for my own behaviours. Are you ready to hear something about me that may change the way you see me?”
“If you have any questions, I’m more than happy to answer them at the end, but can I please have the space and time to share and express? Are you ready to have a conversation with me that might be difficult for us both?”
“I appreciate that you’re going to feel upset, angry, hurt, confused and betrayed. May I please ask that we deal with that separately as I want to honour your feelings properly and right now I can’t do that. I want to be able to open up more in the future around this and other issues, and taking your anger out on me in THIS moment could traumatise me further.”
“I’m committed to working through this with you and I’m looking for solutions and actions that we can both take to improve our relationship and intimacy.”
Once you’ve established safety with your woman, you can then tell her what’s been going on for you. Be courageous, be vulnerable, and don’t leave anything out. I have a number of programs and treatments available which will totally turn your life around. We don’t just get you off porn, we heal all the mental health issues, we take a good look at all areas of your life, and I teach you how to work with sexual energy. We look at relationships, past and present, and I hold your hand all the way through. If you want to reclaim intimacy, this is the program for you.
To watch a video on my 90 Day Porn Addiction Program “Awaken Your Sex God” click here.
To inquire about my treatments for porn addiction, or to book a couples therapy session around porn addiction and intimacy, please contact Catherine Lyell at Integrated Men’s Health on 0401 541 571.
Catherine Lyell
Men’s Health & Porn Addiction Specialist
www.integratedmenshealth.com.au