The stuff you don’t see or hear...
Today I’m going to be brave and talk about my job and tell some stories. You’re going to wonder if I’m running for president by the end of this article because I am so passionate about this and it just may be my TED talk in the making. I have turned this article into a video too, and it's a game changer for me, because I’m finally stepping into the arena properly to talk about ALL THE THINGS that you won’t talk about. I'm talking about ALL THE THINGS that make you feel uncomfortable. I'm talking about ALL THE THINGS you don't want to hear or confront.
Thank you for reading further...my name is Catherine Lyell and I’m a Men’s Health and Porn Addiction Specialist. Today I’m going to tell you some stories, the stuff you don’t see or hear. The stuff that everyone wants me to write a book about…
My work is not an easy job at all. I’m not just sitting down talking to men about their problems like a Psychologist does. I’m an Intuitive Healer, amongst many other things, and it’s that which makes me so good at this work. Because I can tap into people's stuff on a deep level. I feel into their stuff, I detect their blockages, I hear their sabotages and I serve them their shit sandwich on a platter. You cannot enable any client that has an addiction. Instead I hold that space for them, and I believe in them at a higher level than what they will ever believe in themselves. I fight for them when they have given up.
There’s also a lot of hands on work so I’m on my feet all day and I’m massaging for most of the treatments. Dealing with the toxic energy time after time. I hear things I can’t repeat to people because they wouldn’t be able to handle it. I get exposed to deep sexual wounding and some of the time it’s from a very dark place. And not everyone has good intentions when they come to see me.
What you don’t see and hear are the phone calls from men telling me that they’re horny and they need help. Leaving voicemails in low whispers and masturbating. You don’t see or hear the text messages of dick pics and men telling me that they want me to touch them. You don’t see the messages on Facebook where people are mentally ill and have very strange conversations with me.
You can see the men commenting on my Facebook posts about my looks and how they would like to see me take my clothes off. But you don’t see the men coming in acting inappropriately. I get sexually harassed often on text and over the years it has happened in person too. I’ve had men masturbate in my treatment room and scream the place down. I have had men masturbate in my shower and leave their ejaculation on the floor. I’ve had people threaten me and my family on various levels and degrees (women mostly).
So I have it coming from all angles and as soon as I start to talk about this stuff online I get called a man hater. But if we don’t address all of this holistically as a global issue, then we cannot heal what’s really going on. And today I’m stepping into the arena without any fear.
There’s a lot of opinion about porn addiction online. And I hear about it all the time. People like to make sure that I know what they think about me and what I’m doing. The opinion out there is that everyone is entitled to their opinion when it comes to porn addiction. You ARE entitled to think whatever you like, because that’s your belief system and your behaviours feed into that...but unless you know what this stuff does to people on a scientific, neurological, biological, mental, emotional and behavioural level like I do then you really have no argument. Why? Because all roads lead to destruction. You can watch porn all you like, I’m not trying to change you or fix you, but I am here to address this global health crisis for our men. And I’m here to help the ones that need help.
What you don’t see and what you don’t hear are the stories about my clients. I often share testimonials online so that you can see their accounts of what’s going on for them, but I never ever breach confidentiality and talk about clients or put a name to a testimonial. But today I’m going to tell you some stories...
I have seen men that have not had an orgasm for 10 years because their wife left them and took the kids, and the trauma of that has lead to sexual dysfunction.
I have seen men in their 60’s that have only had sex twice in their life, because they are the only two times that their wife agreed to have sex with them and that was to conceive two children.
I have seen men that haven’t had sex with their wives since 1991 but they are still together because they care for their wife and don’t know how to leave.
I have seen men who’s wives are measuring their sperm when they have sex. I have seen men that can’t function sexually because they saw their wife being killed in front of them in a horrific accident.
I have seen men that were put in the garden as babies because they were crying and the mothers had mental illness and could not hold or care for their child.
I have seen men that have been through horrific sexual abuse, farmed out by their parents to a family friend, and still have sexual dysfunction because of it.
I have seen men who get up in the middle of the night multiple times and masturbate to porn.
I have seen teenagers that masturbates 36 times a day and watch porn every single time.
I have seen men who cannot get it up at all, who cannot orgasm, who cannot have sex with women, who are depressed and lonely and have high anxiety, and it’s because they’ve been watching porn every single day since they were a teenager.
What do you don’t see and hear is the 90% of men out there who have erectile dysfunction once you take away sex and porn, and they cannot get an erection or maintain an erection to masturbate.
I have seen men that can no longer function sexually because they have had porn addictions for 20 to 30 to 50 years.
I have seen men who are traumatised by their addiction to the point where they cannot sleep, they cannot function, they avoid women, they avoid social scenes, they avoid life.
There are plenty of men that contact me, but never seek further help because they’re so scared of what their life looks like after porn.
I have seen men that say that they are so scared to give up porn because they feel like they’re never going to see a naked woman again, because their partner has shut down sexually and they’re never having sex.
I've seen men that have been watching porn since they were five years old and masturbating since that age.
I've seen men that are having multiple affairs, men that are seeing sex workers all the time, men that are addicted to sexual massages, men that are cheating every chance that they get, married men that are going on chatlines and seeking out sexual gratification through any means.
When I tell the stories, they are not a rare occurrence. It’s nearly every day that I deal with this and it’s nearly every single guy that has a story to tell around pornography.
So before you have a go at me, have a look at yourself. Have a look at your life. I’m here to help you. So please stop taking up my time and energy by contacting me for the wrong reasons. It’s like calling triple zero and asking for a Chinese takeaway delivery.
And to all the women, please get your head out of the sand. Please do the research, please contact me if you have any questions, please don’t settle in your relationship when men are doing these things outside relationships.
Men, I want you to step up, I want you to seek help. We need to do this together.
Do you have any idea how this is affecting our children? It’s horrendous. It really is.
For bookings or more information, please contact 0401 541 571. Or book a FREE 30 min coaching call here with a Porn Addiction Expert today. My services are available globally.
Catherine Lyell
Integrated Men's Health Solutions