The Greyhound Race
Years ago I got shown a visual/psychic image of porn being exactly like a greyhound race. The little white rabbit isn’t real and you’re not meant to catch it! The rabbit not being real represents the “fantasy” situation you’re creating. It’s not exactly Debbie Does Dallas out there anymore, and we all know that there’s a lot of real-life and amateur porn, or voyeurism available on the web.
So the “reality” refers to the woman in real life who just wants you to show up and be present, it’s not in reference to how real porn is, or how real it portrays sex. She just wants you to connect energetically and passionately to her body and mind. To explore the connection between you. There doesn’t have to be eye gazing or “I love you” or even any emotion at all if it’s a one-night stand (for example). She just needs you to be present. To show up. To connect. And most of you are not showing up, you’re not connecting, you’re not present.
And the “not meant to catch it” refers to the constant chase you have going on in your porn ritual – the video you watched yesterday isn’t doing it for you today, so you’ll find another video tomorrow, and another one and another one. And the cycle continues, and each time you are over-stimulating your penis and your brain, and therefore de-sensitising yourself completely. This is why you’ll be losing your erections during sex. This is why your erections aren’t strong like they used to be.
The Monster vs Reality
Another thing I refer to in my clinic is the "Monster vs Reality". The monster refers to the thing you’ve created in your life that is now taking over, the thing that takes you away from your relationships and life, the thing that takes you away from reality and being present and connected during sex, the fantasy world that is almost necessary for you or you’ll crack or die from the rejection and stress in your relationship.
The monster is the time of day you masturbate, and all the programs, planning and beliefs surrounding that…for example you might have guilt and shame around it because your wife will be home soon and she doesn’t approve of you masturbating and certainly wouldn’t love you watching porn all the time. She probably isn’t too keen on having sex with you either, so you’re quickly masturbating in the shower after work before she gets home. You might be masturbating every night in bed as a way to get to sleep. You might be doing it first thing in the morning because you’ve formed a habit and belief that if you don’t do it then, you’ll be unsettled or stressed for the remainder of the day.
The monster is the way that you touch yourself, the techniques you use and the length of time you masturbate. No woman is ever going to touch you the same way you touch yourself. I have clients that have shared their masturbation techniques or scenarios with me, and the positions they have to get in to, the aggressive nature of the technique, the porn they have to watch and the time it takes them to orgasm, is horrendous. Do you think a woman is ever going to touch you that way? Or replicate the scenarios that you are creating for yourself to “get off”?
The monster is the cultural and religious programming and belief systems around sex and your body. This also ties into childhood beliefs and experiences around sexuality. Your parents’ beliefs and programming is most definitely impressed upon you as a child and you will have adopted a lot of that, even if it’s not how you feel now.
The monster is about all the rejection you’ve experienced in past relationships where sex was not frequent or encouraged. It’s where you’ve learnt how to condition yourself to not want sex because you don’t want to appear forceful in your approach to sex with your partner. You don’t even want to get horny anymore because it’s like hiring a race car and being told you can’t go over 20km per hour.
The monster is the reason why you’re masturbating or watching porn – to help you out, to get you off, to get to sleep, stress release, tension release, before gym, when you first wake up, when you’re bored, when you’re hungover, when you’re feeling depressed, when you’re feeling lonely…all tools which become very addictive.
The gap between “reality” and “the monster” becomes so big that you don’t know how to bridge the gap at all, or find a solution to the problem. I’ve seen guys that are suicidal, because they’re young and they’ve only been married a year or so and their partner has taken sex off the table almost completely. They start to really freak out about what their future relationship (and the rest of their life) now looks like. So they turn to porn. A life without sex? Fuck no. Add the overwhelm of an extremely stressful job and these guys are losing their shit.
What I do, on all levels and dimensions, is throw that monster up into the air, and we let all the pieces fall down organically and see where it all lands. Your energetic and blueprint patterns can then find themselves and the healing can begin. We’re taking you back to “scratch”, we’re activating your Kundalini, reconnecting you to self (most have never have been fully connected in the first place), building up your sexual energy and teaching you how to breathe and orgasm.
So it’s time to take a look at the monster, don’t you think?
Catherine Lyell
Integrated Men’s Health Solutions
Bonbeach, Vic, Australia
Phone: +61401 541 571
Email: integratedmenshealth@outlook.com
Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/integratedmenshealthsolutions